The Jason Collins Conversation

“Everyone’s funny. Now you funny too.” –George Thoroughgood

Everyone’s talking about Jason Collins, so I guess I will too. I don’t really care that much about the story—I have no issue with gay people and certainly not with gay people playing sports so it’s kind of irrelevant to me—but the conversation is interesting. I just can’t believe some of the dumb shit that people are saying, and I’m not just talking about just the ignorant bible-thumpers or the homophobes or the people making crude jokes—ok, maybe I don’t mind the crude jokes, excuse me for having a sense of humor.

Anyway, let’s break down some of the things people are saying

1) This shouldn’t even be a story

I understand this and not just because Jason Collins is barely an “active” basketball player. It’s because he isn’t the first gay athlete to come out or the first male gay athlete or the first gay male athlete in a major sport. He’s the first active-gay-male-in-one-of-the-four-major-US-sports to come out. Any time you need to put that many qualifiers on something, it automatically seems like less of a big deal. But more importantly, no one’s really surprised about this. There have been so many athletes coming in other sports or after they retired from a major sport, so it was pretty obvious there must be a few playing somewhere in a real sport. Besides, anyone paying attention to the tone of the whole “when will an active gay athlete come out in one of the major sports” conversation could tell that there wouldn’t be any serious backlash to someone coming out.

Every time an athlete—even one as prominent as Kobe—said anything remotely homophobic, the media and the league fell on them like a ton of bricks and got an apology. There have been many prominent football players speaking out for gay rights and many athletes taking part in anti-gay-bullying PSAs (Wait, that doesn’t sound right. Anti-anti-gay-bullying PSAs?). Yes, Jason Collins is probably going to get some nasty emails, maybe a crazy stalker or too, maybe even a difficult teammate or two, but that’s it. Anyone in the stands or in the locker room who makes some crude comments is going to get shouted down and embarrassed. It shouldn’t really be surprising that most the uproar is coming from the media.

But I’m straight, as are most of the people saying this shouldn’t be a story, so obviously it doesn’t matter to us. But anyone with a brain should be able to see why this is important to the gay LGBT community.

Sure, it may be hard to understand why people are calling him “courageous” or “visionary” when it seems clear his career was never in danger, but that’s us looking at it from the outside. I’m sure Jason was pretty confident that he’d be ok too, but he couldn’t know for sure. There was still that little risk that he was doing something he couldn’t take back, that he was about to do something that would ruin his career and his life in a way that could never be fixed. It’s probably the same way people feel the first time they go sky diving. You know you’ve got a parachute, but there’s no getting back in that plane if the parachute fails, so that first step out is still terrifying.

And I’d guess most people in the gay community feel the same way. They probably—hopefully—feel some level of confidence that coming out will be accepted by their friends, family, and colleagues, but there’s always a chance that it won’t. And if it goes wrong, there’s no going back. So to see someone risking his livelihood and his reputation because he feels the need to tell the world who he is, to finally freely live his life the way he wants without hiding, is probably pretty inspiring.

Even more for gay athletes in high school or college, especially in Texas or any of the square states. And I’d guess they’re still pretty hesitant because they’re not as well-established as Jason Collins. Even though he’s not a superstar, his body-of-work already removes all the concerns that seem to surround the gay athlete—that they’re not tough enough or they’re going to eye-rape their teammates in the locker room. No NBA GM is suddenly going to change their opinion about him now that he’s “suddenly” gay. They know whether or not he can play and that’s really all they’re going to care about.

2) Why is this such a big deal and Brittany Griner’s announcement wasn’t? How sexist!

This is so dumb it boggles the mind. If you’re making this argument, please sterilize yourself before you infect the gene pool with your stupidity. There are so many reasons why the Brittany Griner story doesn’t matter that I can’t understand how any editor has let one of their journalists print such nonsense.

Jason Collins is a first, Brittany Griner is not. Let’s put aside the literally dozens of open lesbians in almost every women’s sport and focus on Griner’s league, the WNBA. Some of the biggest legends in the WNBA have been openly lesbian, and a good portion of the league still is. This isn’t just the typical “Oh, all female athletes are lesbian” stereotypes, it’s a fact. Cheryl Miller and Sherryl Swoopes are two of the biggest WNBA stars ever and both came out (apparently, just like the name Suzanne makes chicks grow huge boobs, the name Sh/Cheryl makes you a lesbian or a great basketball player). Brittany Griner doesn’t matter because she’s just the latest in a long line of lesbians.

“But she’s such a prominent athlete, way more prominent than Jason Collins” they say. ‘He’s just a journeyman, she was the #1 pick.” Yeah, in the WNBA. You notice how all the headlines about Jason Collins mention that he was in a “major” sports league? The WNBA is not “major.” It’s barely a step up from bowling.

And there’s another reason it didn’t matter when Brittany Griner came out. She was never in. We knew without being told. It’s like when Lance Bass came out and the cover of People (or US or one of the other magazines for morons) was a picture of him with the headline “I’m gay!” When I saw that, I turned to my wife and said, “That headline should say “No duh!” It probably would have even worked without the headline. Not everyone is as dumb as middle aged women in love with Clay Aiken. Brittany coming up was not surprising or unexpected, Collins was.

3) I don’t get it. Tim Tebow (or whoever) talks about his religion and people tell him to shut up. Jason Collins talks about sucking dick and everyone calls him a visionary.

Again, if you’re making this argument or something similar, please don’t have kids. Sure, people seem to get overly upset about Tebow’s religion talks, but that’s mostly because they hate Tebow. And also because Tebow is at least partly trying to force his views on everyone with his anti-abortion agenda and some other stuff. Jason Collins isn’t trying to force anyone to go gay.

But let’s put Tebow aside and just talk about athletes who talk about Jesus and why they aren’t considered “visionary.” The main difference—the one that you can see from space—is that these guys are talking about something that hundreds of millions of people agree with. They’re in the vast majority. They’re not in any danger of losing sponsors or getting fired or getting attacked just because they love Jesus. In fact, you can make any shitty movie or song you want and just say it’s about Jesus or Christians, and you’ll make a billion dollars. Just ask Kirk Cameron or Cartman.

Jason Collins is in the minority. In some ways, he’s the only one of his kind. It actually took some bravery to do what he did. He’s going to be under a microscope, even as he sits at the end of the bench doing nothing.

Hey, just like Tebow.  

4) He’s like the Jackie Robinson of gays!

Nope. First of all, Jackie Robinson wasn’t just the first-active-Black-male-athlete-in-the-4-major-sports. He was the first Black athlete in a major sport, period. Much bigger deal.

Secondly, he obviously couldn’t wait until the end of his career to pull of a Scooby Doo mask and yell “Ha! I’m Black. I was Black all along you honkies!” He had to put up with the hate and the vitriol from day one. He had to prove himself every day as the hate rained down. And if he ever fought back, it would have just been taken as proof that the haters were right.

Jason Collins had an entire career where he didn’t have to worry about the hate—although granted it was surely difficult living in secret, but that’s not the same. Also, at this point, the announcement won’t have a significant impact on his career. He is already established and proven. Everyone knows he can play. Everyone knows he can be in the locker room. This isn’t going to have a major impact on people’s opinions of him.

And he’s not going to face nearly the hate that Robinson felt. Anyone in the stands who yells “Fag” or “Homo” is going to be ejected. Anyone in the media who makes even the slightest negative allusion to his homosexuality (cough Broussard cough) is going to be crucified in social media. They might not get fired or even fined, but they’re going to think twice before saying anything. Robinson didn’t have that kind of protection.

Yes, Jason is and will continue to be an inspiration. But he’s not Jackie Robinson.

5) Somebody has to sign him now. Otherwise, everyone will think the NBA is homophobic.

This is ridiculous, but sadly true. Jason Collins is 34 and a marginal player who just sat on the bench all year for the worst team in the league. There was probably a decent chance that he wasn’t going to get signed and there’s no question he knows that. But now, if someone doesn’t sign him, the media will fall all over themselves to label the NBA as homophobic. Anyone who knows the facts will know it’s not true, but that’s never stopped the media on either side of the aisle.  Even serious journalists like Jason Whitlock have suggested that David Stern should force someone to sign him.

So it’s understandable why so many people are cynical about the announcement, saying that he only did this to extend his career. It’s pretty clear there weren’t many teams who thought he could contribute last season, but now there may be one or two desperate enough for good publicity to stash him at the end of the bench. And for all the jokes about David Stern trying to choreograph the playoffs (JR Smith anyone?), there’s almost no doubt that he will be going to teams and begging someone to sign Jason so that the NBA and the media can pat themselves on the back all year.

I think that would actually minimize the impact of Collins’ announcement because it’s going to feed all the cynics. Yes, coming out won’t be as impactful if he retires because he’ll go from the “first-active” player to just another retired player coming out of the closet. But still, if he gets signed and then just sits on the bench, we’ll be buried in articles saying that he did this to further his career and it will also taint the achievements of all future gay players. People will just say they got where they are because they’re gay, just like what sometimes happens with affirmative action.

Of course, if he doesn’t get signed, we’ll get buried in the ludicrous “NBA/Sports is soooo homophobic and that’s the only reason he didn’t get signed.” So we’re screwed either way. Thanks Jason.

6) Sports is somehow different than the rest of the world. It’s the only place that’s still homophobic.

This one’s pretty annoying. Gays are thriving in the entertainment industry, from music to movies. Ellen and Oprah dominate the talk show scene and no one seems to mind. There’s plenty of openly gay people making millions in TV and the movies, even playing womanizers like Barney Stinson or the guy from Fifty Shades of Grey. (No, I’m not going to say it, it’s a lay-up...oh, not saying that one either.)

So why should Sports be so different? This argument is basically a referendum against men because it always comes down to “Sports are so manly and chauvinistic and there’s so much testosterone in the locker room, they’ll never accept gays.”

Shut the fuck up. Most men are fine with them, we just don’t talk about it. Guess what, we don’t talk about anything. Except sports. And if a guy can play, then no one will care. And if he doesn’t, we’ll make fun of him just like we’d make fun of anyone, like that fucking buttfumbler Sanchez. And we’ll make fun of the most obvious thing to make fun of, like buttfumbling. If that happens to be the fact that a guy’s gay, well hopefully most people have the sense not to go there. But even if they do, it doesn’t mean they hate gays. 

And there’s probably a tinge of racism here. The 4 major sports—well, not hockey but I’m not sure why that’s in the 4 anymore—are dominated by Black athletes and minorities. Apparently, they don’t like gays so neither will Sports. Seems pretty ridiculous.

7) This is great. Watch the twitter feed of every athlete, call every dumb athlete you can, get them on the show and start asking them about Jason Collins. If anyone says anything stupid, we can judge them for another 24 hours. –ESPN and almost every media company

This is the thing that’s bugging me the most about this story. Any athlete who says anything that’s slightly off message—the message being “This is fantastic. Go Gays!”—is being labeled a homophobe and judged by self-righteous anchors who sit there and look disgusted that anyone would have a differing opinion. Or by people on Facebook and Twitter who just want to show how progressive they are.

And I’m not talking about someone coming out and saying “G-d hates Jason Collins. He’s an abomination and shouldn’t be allowed to play sports anymore,” because, guess what, no one’s saying that, not even Broussard. Or at least they’re smart enough not to say it in public (how long until it shows up on a secret cell phone video, though?). But Mike Wallace says he doesn’t understand gay people—not that he hates them, not that they disgust him, not that they should be banned—and he’s a monster. RGIII questions why people aren’t allowed to speak their minds and have a differing opinion, and he’s a mad man. (And again, the only reason people are so concerned about football players is because their sport is so “manly” they can’t possibly accept homosexuals).

Just last night, I saw Asante Samuel getting grilled by Hannah Storm because he said he doesn’t understand why people have to announce who they’re having sex with and he doesn’t want to discuss this stuff with his kids. It’s a dumb statement that shows a lack of empathy or understanding for the position of many homosexuals, but it’s not virulently homophobic. You wouldn’t know that from the interview though. From the look on Hannah’s face, I’d guess Asante had just taken a dump on the floor of the studio. Then she asked a bunch of leading questions clearly designed to get him to say he thinks gays are disgusting and he doesn’t want him on their team. He was smart enough not to answer them but too dumb to do it in a very political way. The look on Hannah’s face (and then Lindsay Czarniak and Linda Cohen) clearly conveyed “can you believe this homophobic caveman?”

Of course, what he said isn’t even really that bad. Like I said, he obviously doesn’t understand why this is important, but is it so bad to not want to hear about this stuff or to not want his kids to hear about it? It’s not just necessarily that he doesn’t want them to hear about homosexuality, just sexuality at all. He’d probably say the same thing if Matt Ryan said he really liked having sex with old ladies or if Mark Sanchez said he liked performing his eponymous sex move on Rex Ryan’s wife and the random floozies that don’t realize he can’t play football.

It’s gross and, face facts, straight guys think gay sex is gross. That doesn’t mean they hate gays or don’t believe they deserve equal rights, but go ahead and see what happens if you show straight guys a video of two guys kissing—or worse. It’s a visceral response. And it’s hardwired into our brains. Look, we’re fine with you guys doing what you want to do, we just don’t want to hear about it. I remember when one of my friends in college finally came out—as surprising as Britney Griner—and we were all fine with it. But then he tried to tell me about the first time he sucked cock and I had to run away. Sorry, that’s just the way it is. Do whatever you want but just keep it quiet and we won’t tell you about how we were balls deep in a stripper last night. Fair, right?

And, even though I don’t have kids, I can understand why Asante and others wouldn’t want to talk to their kids about it. Because, face facts again, nobody wants their kids to be gay. Sure, most people will be ok with it and still love their kids, but nobody straight ever has a kid and says “Boy, I hope he grows up to be gay!”  Partly because they don’t want the kid to deal with the hardship but also because they just would prefer straight kids who could give them grandkids. And, as much as a father never wants to think or hear about his daughter sucking dick, he definitely doesn’t want to think about his son doing it Again, sorry, but that doesn’t mean we hate gays or we’d hate our kids if they tell us they’re homosexual

There are serious conversations to be had here, but SportsCenter isn’t the place for it (just like it wasn’t the place for graphic images of the Boston Bombing). Actually, pretty much any news show is the wrong place for it because the level of discourse has sunk so low. There’s no real conversation anymore. It’s become “you’re with us or against us” on every topic, especially this, and that’s not doing anyone any good.

Yes, I’ll admit, I’m disgusted when I see two guys kissing, but that doesn’t mean I think they shouldn’t get married. I do, because who gives a fuck? Their marriage won’t affect you or me in any serious way except that maybe we’ll gross ourselves out by accidentally imagining them doing their thing, and that’s our problem, not theirs.

So fine, let’s talk about this. Let’s have a conversation, preferably in person instead of on Facebook. But stop pointing fingers and stop insulting everyone. Be reasonable, try to see both sides, and let’s see what happens.

Congratulations Jason. Good luck to you and those you inspire.